You just have to really want it...

18 months. A lot can happen in 18 months. Kids grow. Businesses flourish. New jobs come into play. People get fatter. People realize how they effect other people with their fatness.

This road to fitness has been a very long one. I see now that I have been the only thing standing in my way. The emotional eating, negative self talk, excuses...it has all been me. The hardest part to swallow is that my daughter has been watching this and feeding off of it.

This past week my eyes have been opened by a loved one who told me that it makes them feel "sad and mad" that I am overweight. I am unable to walk as fast as the rest of my family, not able to fit easily in rides or do some of the things my family is doing during "family time".

I then realized that this journey needs not to be just for myself but for the people who love me. And the people that I love. The signs have been there, I just needed one to hit me with a two by four in the face before I gave them any attention.

With that said, I have no idea when I will actually get serious about loosing weight. I have been in and out of this journey for some time now and nothing has changed. I do not know that goals will help me, I don't respect them. I do not know that the doctor, a nutritionist or support groups will help me, I am too stubborn. I just have to help myself. I am not going to make any promises or deadlines. Bottom line is that I just have to change. I have started it before, I can do it again but this time I have to follow through.

Mind you, I have not been lazy, just hungry; mostly hungry for chocolate and carbs. I have been walking and doing what I can to keep my legs moving. Here are pictures for proof...

Lucky to have a trail head across the street from my house

Still seeing hearts, I guess that is one thing that has not changed in 18 months. I am blessed!

Last Spring I found a trail to walk where there are many, many wildflowers. So beautiful!

Signing off with a post I saw on Instagram (sorry cannot remember who posted it but I copied it, this is not my original work). This is where I am right now. Assessing the daily routine, seeing where I can get fitness in. I know this and my story could help someone out there. That is why I share.

Let's try this again...

Well, I found that last time I documented my daily walks it kept me accountable for my health. A million excuses later I have decided to do it again because the feedback I got from people was extremely positive (I actually motivated some) and I need to get back to taking care of myself.

I do not promise to walk daily but I do promise to do it more often...let's start there.

Today's walk reminded me of how badly out of shape Poppy and I am. For those of you who do not know, Poppy is my dog.

Saying that you are too busy to get healthy is like saying you are too busy to care about yourself, what kind of a world to we live in where this is okay? I see this now. Making the time for yourself to be healthy is the single most important thing you can do for yourself and the people you love. After all, you cannot take care of your family if you are not well yourself.

I rarely ever manipulate my photography but I did with this one. This oak tree is captivating, it really caught my attention for some reason.

Proof that I walked, LOL!

A converstaion with self...in all honesty.

Higher Self: Where have you been?
Ego: Here, there and everywhere is the most honest answer.
Higher Self: Have you been walking?
Ego: No. Well, here and there but not anything consistent.
Higher Self: Why?
Ego: Good question, which I cannot answer without spewing off a hundred different excuses. Bottom line is that something "more important" came up each day and I could not do it.
Higher Self: What is more important than oneself?
Ego: Family and work obligations...doooe, what am I saying?

This is a conversation that I have with myself almost daily AND I know that some of you do to. I am not the only one who struggles with motivation in the area of health and exercise. Truth is, the very things that motivate me (family and work) are the very things that stand in the way of my own motivation. Yeah, it is nuts BUT again I know that some of you understand this concept. It is not until I started to listen to myself that I began realizing just how ridiculous this cycle is.

The top three lessons that I have learned in the past few years is...

1. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
2. It is important to take care of your self on all levels; mentally, physically and spiritually. You cannot care for anyone else unless you are up to par. Especially true for us mothers.
3. The first two are very much easier said than done.

Acknowledging the cycle is the first step to breaking it. Realizing how ridiculous the cycle is and the outcome it has on yourself and your family is the next step. What comes next is the decision to change and to act on that change. Finally, the change sets in and it becomes your new life.

With my weight struggle I am somewhere between realizing the cycle and deciding to change. Again. I will start over as many times as needed, because that is how important it is to me. For me, and for my family. What is that proverb?

"'Tis a lesson you should heed:

Try, try, try again.

If at first you don't succeed,

Try, try, try again."

~William Edward Hickson

Another good reason to walk, my pup!

Nice trail.

Yep, still seeing hearts. Not nearly as much as I once was but they are still there.

And at the end of the day, the Universe always delivers!

 Love and light my friends! Thank you for reading :)

Back at it...and it feels good!

Hello friends! Pup and I took a quick walk today and it was so good to be back at it.

I think Pup was happy to be walking again too!

 I really did not hold back with the eating this holiday and based upon my check up at the doctor it shows. I will not tell you what # I am at but I will tell you that since late September I gained 9 pounds!! Eek!

Been wondering how many "start overs" I will be doing when it comes to loosing weight. I guess as many as it takes, eh? I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. It is so easy to spout out and believe the excuses you put out for yourself.

Pretty Winter day here in Northern California

So consider this start over, reset, moving on #3. Three is a number that has popped up many times in my life, may this be the bout that keeps me focused and accountable. While many are struggling to start their New Year resolution, I have not made this one of mine. New Years resolutions are too easy to let go of and feel alright about it. This is my new life resolution (number 3, lol).

Here is to 2014, may it be a year of implementing changes, staying focused,  being accountable and acknowledging excuse from reality.

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 *·~-.¸-(★ ♥ Love and Light ♥ ★)-,.-~*

Good bye 2013...Hello 2014! Happy New Year!

2013 has been a roller coaster of a ride! Many ups in our business/creative lives, many downs in the health category and lessons all in between!

Overall I would say that 2013 was informative and by no means a wash. Looking forward to moving on ward and up ward in 2014, implementing the lessons of the past year.

I am grateful for every twist and turn but mostly for the family and friends that were with me the entire way! I am also thankful for the faith in which I have found and hung on to which made even the darkest moments bright.

Love and light my friends, more progress is to be made in 2014 ♥

Happy New Year!

I am not having fun anymore, I should have listened to my parents!

The road to dental health has proven to be quiet a journey. It has not been easy (I am a Crandall and things do not come easy for us). It has, however, been full of lessons, which in my book is better than easy.

The first dentist I went to was a waste of time in the sense that he did not listen to my complaints seriously. I did learn that I have cavities that need to be dealt with a mild to moderate case of gingivitis that I need to handle. OK. This said office wanted me to get my teeth cleaned BEFORE taking care of the painful cavity, but could not do it for three weeks. OK.

Tuesday afternoon I had an episode of pain that messed with my vision and ability to think. Considering I was driving with my daughter at the time, I made the decision to find a doctor that would handle it NOW. So, I did.

Wednesday, Doctor #2 found out that the cavity is so badly infected it is messing with my sinuses, which I thought was just seasonal allergies. He also gave me two options, do a root canal or take the tooth out. Take the damn thing out! But before doing that I have to be on antibiotics to clear the infection. OK.

Went to the pharmacist and they do not have the order. OK. Since it was about 10 minutes after my appointment I decided to wait to call Dr. #2's office to make sure they sent it. Forty five minutes later the pharmacy still had not gotten it. Called Dr. #2, they were backed up and had not called it in yet. OK.

Called pharmacy and they asked all the same questions they asked me the first two times I called them, what's your last name, your date of birth, have you filled here before? You are not in our system! Ugg! I just wanted to scream, did you get the order or not!! I refrained, but could not hold back the discomfort.

Thursday the pain was so bad I called and they prescribed me some Norco...these seem to take the edge off. Today, Friday, the pain is still bad. The Norco's do not see to be working any more and the anti's have not seemed to kick in. I can feel the pressure of the infection in my sinuses. The only thing that seems to work temporarily is cold water. Eating involves a lot of cold water. This sucks, I should have listened to my parents and continued dental care after flying the coupe. But like my dad says, "You always have to learn things the hard way." My response, "That is my nature, you become wiser that way."

Keeping the faith!

Thanks for reading, friends. Love and light!

Home and OTC remedies for infected tooth

While the only sure thing to getting rid of tooth pain is to go to the dentist and have the problem dealt with, here is a list of things I have tried and know to work for tooth pain on a temporary basis for a badly infected tooth.

• Salt water rinses - I have used both table salt and sea salt. Both will help draw the infection out and help with the pain.
• Brush teeth with a sensitive toothpaste.
• Rinse with a mouth wash like Listerine (I use the store brands).
• Ibuprofen, Tylenol - I usually just buy the store brands.
• Hydrogen Peroxide rinse - I know there has been much debate on whether this is safe. My mother has been telling me to try this so I did. Do a 50/50 ratio with water and hydrogen peroxide, or if you are worried about it use less hydrogen peroxide. Swish it in your mouth, spit it out, leave your mouth open so the oxygen can help activate the hydrogen peroxide. You will feel the tingle :) Keep doing that and be sure not to swallow.  Once you are done, rinse your mouth with just plain water a few times. Sounds crazy, (especially if you have ever encountered HydroMan the GV looney) but it does work. Just do not swallow!
• Anbesol - You can find this at any grocery store or pharmacy. It takes the pain away for a little while and numbs your mouth. 

Now I have never tried this but wanted to and just never got around to making it. Theives Oil, a blend of different oils is said to help with cavities.  If you try this, let me know what you think! I am still interested to trying for other purposes as it is suppose to be anti everything and good for flu/cold season as well as cleaning your house.

Keeping the faith!

Thanks for reading friends! I hope this blog post helps somebody out!

The next step to ultimate health...

THE DENTIST! As a kid it did not seem to phase me, I do remember asking a lot of questions and being very concerned about what they docs were doing but do not remember the anxiety that I feel now.

Uggg, in my adult life I guess I allow myself to get inside my own head when it comes to the dentist. I have a hard time taking my daughter, who is also quiet scared of the venture. While on the outside I am calm and telling her it is going to be alright, I am freaking out on the inside.

It is those lights, machines and the drills that bother me. The noise is NO FUN! That is why I have left this aspect of my health for last. In two weeks I will be going to the dentist for the first time in 18 years, yes, 18 years! Since it has been so long I will be undergoing a full assessment with X-rays and all. I know I have a couple of cavities because I can see them and feel them, but thought an assessment would be a good start. I must also add that I have scheduled and canceled this said appointment twice partially because of funds but mostly due to fear. I have no choice at this point as the cavities are starting to hurt and must be dealt with before they become a bigger problem.

So until the 21st my life will consist of salt water rinses and Ibuprofen. That is what I get for not being responsible and going to the dentist!

I am silently freaking out! But I know that if my daughter can do it then so can I!

10 things I would like to remember about my first 35 years of life on Earth

So this is my 100th post! To celebrate I have put together 10 lessons that I would like to remember moving forward in this life.

1. Change is inevitable. It is natural and we all need it, whether or not we want it.

2. Sometimes life is disappointing. That is alright, it just means that there is something better out there for you; you just do not know it yet. I believe it was the Dalai Lama who said,"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke luck".

3. This kind of goes along with the idea above; if you really need something, the Universe will send it your way. Whether it is positive or negative, there is joy to be had or a lesson to be learned.

4. Life can be tough. But if you keep smiling and laughing then it does not seem so harsh. Always try to see the positive in the negative. Always!

5. God's ultimate gift comes in the form of a child.

6. Family is where it is at; bio and friend-family. Kinship is not just defined by science; it is a state of mind and can be defined by action.

7.  Let it go. Breathe. Meditate. Everything is going to be alright. If you do not let go of negative things it will effect your physical health.

8. We are all here for a reason. We each have our own gift to share with the world. 

9.  There is something much bigger than us, bigger than the Earth, bigger than the solar system and that is spirituality. We are not just a body with a mind, we are spirit too. Christian, Catholic, Buddhism, Muslim...whatever that looks like for you. "The whole is more than the sum of its parts". ~Aristotle

10. Lat, but probably the most important...You are the only one who can create your happiness, prosperity and success. It is all about perception. Change the way you look at something and that thing will change. Find the lesson in the negative things and find joy in the positive things and all will be well.

 

Love and light my friends! Thanks for reading :)

I found me!

What I found out was that I do not give into things easily, I am stubborn and I am strong. When I was a kid, these attributes were not very much appreciated, but they are serving me well now, LOL ☠

I have been walking a little here and there and taking pictures everywhere...I think this is my "thing", my "make me happy", my "passion". I feel whole when I am in nature with my camera and dog. 

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself."  ~Alan Alda

Here are the latest pictures from my walks...

The view from my Mom's front yard, she also have a walking trail right outside her house!

 

The view from my Mom's front yard, but on a different day.

Me and Pup enjoying the sun on Summer Solstice ☼

I am pretty sure Pup and I are not supposed to be here, but so glad we are! ☮

Love this shot, this is one of the moments where I feel whole. ☯

Me and the sun, it is a beautiful thing :)

Anyone know what this is? It is a cool plant? It has flowers in the Spring that turn to these sticker things in the Summer.

Well that is all we have for now folks! Thanks for reading, love and light! 

 

And the winners are...

I am a tad behind...back in the ER to learn, but with no surprise, that I am experiencing anxiety. Like a good friend says, this too shall pass! I am gonna kick it in it's ass. I have no time for this :)

So, the winner's of my first ever giveaway are....

1st Prize - TINA ENNIS, you win an array of natural body care products

2nd Prize - BARBIE BALSAMO REALINI (aka Parlor Girl), you win some natural body care

3rd Prize - JAIME FOUNTAIN, you win a pair of earrings

Ladies, please message me at scherbert22@gmail.com with your mailing address and I will get your items off to you asap!!

THANK YOU to each person who participated! While I did not get the results I hoped for, it was fun!

What no test to check the head?! LOL, just kidding.

ER room #9, the EKG machine and I are getting pretty close. Spent the evening with them again. All is well, all is well!

I have been having a lot of symptoms that do not usually go together...the PVC's are now accompanied by hot flashes/anxiety...I have a pain in my head, ear, jaw, sinuses...nausea, vertigo off an on, low fever, bloody noses, high blood pressure and just feeling like shit. And I am salivating like a vampire or hungry dog. It is bizarre!

Poor ER nurses and doctors must think I am a hypochondriac. I had written all the symptoms down on a piece of paper for my primary and took it with me. They all looked at me like I was nuts. Maybe I am. All I know is that I feel like dookey.

All the tests came back alright. The ER doc did not diagnose me with anything. He said that there is no test the ER they could do to find out what my problem was. What no test to check the head?! LOL, just kidding. Beleive me that last place I want to spend my evening is in ER room #9 with the EKG machine and needles. I am not frustrated by his non diagnosis. He did all he could, my mess is better suited for a primary anyhow. I understand that.

I did have an appt set with my primary already but I have been waiting for two weeks and I still do not get to see him until next Thursday. Why did I go? Well, all those symptoms just got to be OVERWHELMING! They wake me up out of my sleep and keep me up. They make me irritable during the day. Not knowing what the heck was going on and the thought of waiting another week was eating at me.

I am sure it is a combination of things...allergies, anxiety, residuals from Ramsay Hunt, cavities...all of the above. So, I was sent home with the "You are not dying" chat and orders to get to the primary and back to the neurologist asap. And to a dentist. Uggg!

I am sure glad that I am not experiencing something emergency serious :) AND I do have to say that getting older is not for sissy's! Thanks Mommy for going with me!

Where are my priorities? I must get my ass in gear!

You have not been hearing of my walking adventures because, well, there have not been any. I walked once last week and the week before that but other than that walking has not been a top priority for me.

Not sure where I fell off track. It think it started when I was not feeling well, and then just never got back at it. I could sit here and give you a million reasons why I have not done it...it have been too busy, Aunt Flow came to visit, I was tired, allergies...what it really boils down to is that I did not want to do it and walking is no longer one of my top priorities. I never put myself first.

While I do still feel the fire and passion to get healthier, I am having a hard time getting my walking shoes back on. It is so easy to tell your self the tomorrow will be the day...it is a viscous cycle isn't it?

At some point I will have to decide that TODAY is the day, not tomorrow; just as I did when I began in December. All is well!

Enjoy some photography that I have taken recently :)

Still seeing hearts if the darnedest places :)

I have been active in the yard.

Tahoe Thunderstorm

The big hill

This was a nice day for a walk

Thanks for reading folks! Love and light!

Motivation, I have none! Must keep looking...

Although Spring is here and there seems to be more positive energy in the air, I am having a very hard time getting motivated to walk. Taking the time off to get back to health seems to have set me back and I sure that Aunt Flow's visit is not helping any. As much as I like to see her come, I like to see her go even more, LOL!  I will find my mojo again. I have no other option then to get back to where I was and move forward.

Saturday and Sunday - Yard and house work took priority over walking. Pup was sad but I still got a good work out. Our yard is on a hill so walking up and down it a ton of times, lifting, bending and moving was enough to make me feel it...it's all good!

This is a picture of my "Woodsy Garden" in 2011

Monday - I honestly do not remember what we did this day, but I know we did not walk. Hmmmm...why can't I remember? Getting older is not for the weak ;)

Tuesday - This day we finally got back out in the elements and walked the NID ditch by our house. The ditch was full of water, which my daughter and Pup loved. Daughter likes to throw stick in the ditch and watch Pup go for them. Both love the water. There were just a few wild flowers along the ditch road, a couple blooming trees and a whole lot of sunshine. It felt nice to get back out.

Nice day for a walk!

Blossoming Landscape

Love this place!

The sun is shining and it is Spring Break, must definitely wear the bikini ;)

My dog is a maniac...the bigger the stick the happier she is :)

Wednesday - I already know that today probably won't have a walk in the plans. We have a lot to do between cleaning the carpets, cleaning the house, cleaning the car and getting ready for our trip to Tiburon. We leave Friday for an overnighter, so excited!

I know that I will not walk tomorrow either because I am going to work with my husband. He has a big yard maintenance job to start and he needs my help so my exercise will come in the form of yard work.

I love having my daughter home with me and am looking forward to our Summer schedule. I am also looking forward to her returning to school so that I can get back on track with walking and some other work related tasks that need to be done. It is amazing/concerning/irritating about how easy it is for me to get off track with getting fit. I have never been one who enjoyed P.E. or any thing that required a lot of movement. Perhaps that is why I did so well in Volleyball ;)

Love and light my friends!

Walk a little here, walk a little there...must reassess and keep going!

I think this blog and my goal of walking needs to be reassessed. While walking daily is still ideal, it is not realistic some weeks with all that needs to be done. Monday's, forget it! I tried to fit in a walk with Pup while my daughter was at dance lessons this last Monday but Pup is not comfortable around cars, streets, etc. and it was not enjoyable. Neither of us got any good exercise. So, I am just going to forget Monday's and try to walk at least 6 times during the week.

Also, the same is true for finding time to blog about this adventure. I will try to continue to post daily, or ever other day but some weeks it just might not happen; like this week. Do know that I be walking, though!

Sunday- Yep, I am about a week behind ALWAYS! I am finding that Sunday walks are among my favorite because my husband usually comes with us and we are all together. These walks are not as stressed as the walks with just us girls. Pup and daughter listen better, we find lots of treasures and have a lot of fun. We took the girls over to my Mom's house and walked on the Litton trails. I did not know that they linked up with the trails at the High School and could lead to Ridge Road but I do now!

Before we even started the walk, my daughter found this heart! It is on a plum tree where a leaf or branch used to be.

Litton Trail ends up behind NU, who knew! Not me and I have been living here for 24 years and was very familiar with the trails when I was in school.

My daughter found a hide out!

NU has a course along the trails with a giant set of Monkey Bars...could not keep my Monkey off of them!

Tuesday - My daughter asked for us to wait until after school to walk so we did. Took the usual route by our house.

Grass Valley Landscape, my new sunset spot that does not have poison oak ;)

Wednesday- We did not take a walk but Pup needed some exercise so I played a long game of "chase me and if you get the bone we can play catch". Pup likes to keep her toys from us, according to the family that had her before us, Pup has always played that game.

Thursday- Walks alone is probably my most-est favorite me time. While I do enjoy company on walks, it is the walks that I take alone that really help me stay focused and grounded. I feel so good after an alone walk. On this particular day we went to the trails at the end of Gold Hill Drive. These are such nice trails, full of wild life and respectful people. For most of the walk I listened to an Owl hooting away and came across a very talkative Crow. We will be back to this trail :)

Beautiful day for me time!

It is so hard to get a picture of my Pup when she is not moving, I will take the puppy love though :)

Friday - Took the usual trail by our house, Nana was with us.

I love where I live!

So today is Saturday, filled with the unknown. I do know there will be a walk at some point, a little house chores and a whole lotta love!

Peace, love and light my friends!