You just have to really want it...

18 months. A lot can happen in 18 months. Kids grow. Businesses flourish. New jobs come into play. People get fatter. People realize how they effect other people with their fatness.

This road to fitness has been a very long one. I see now that I have been the only thing standing in my way. The emotional eating, negative self talk, excuses...it has all been me. The hardest part to swallow is that my daughter has been watching this and feeding off of it.

This past week my eyes have been opened by a loved one who told me that it makes them feel "sad and mad" that I am overweight. I am unable to walk as fast as the rest of my family, not able to fit easily in rides or do some of the things my family is doing during "family time".

I then realized that this journey needs not to be just for myself but for the people who love me. And the people that I love. The signs have been there, I just needed one to hit me with a two by four in the face before I gave them any attention.

With that said, I have no idea when I will actually get serious about loosing weight. I have been in and out of this journey for some time now and nothing has changed. I do not know that goals will help me, I don't respect them. I do not know that the doctor, a nutritionist or support groups will help me, I am too stubborn. I just have to help myself. I am not going to make any promises or deadlines. Bottom line is that I just have to change. I have started it before, I can do it again but this time I have to follow through.

Mind you, I have not been lazy, just hungry; mostly hungry for chocolate and carbs. I have been walking and doing what I can to keep my legs moving. Here are pictures for proof...

Lucky to have a trail head across the street from my house

Still seeing hearts, I guess that is one thing that has not changed in 18 months. I am blessed!

Last Spring I found a trail to walk where there are many, many wildflowers. So beautiful!

Signing off with a post I saw on Instagram (sorry cannot remember who posted it but I copied it, this is not my original work). This is where I am right now. Assessing the daily routine, seeing where I can get fitness in. I know this and my story could help someone out there. That is why I share.

Slow and steady wins the race!

Realizing that it has been a little over TWO MONTHS since my last post, you are to be assured that it has been because life has kept me from stopping in to write. I have been active; taking walks when I can, gardening and going on end of the year field trips with my daughter.

Taking pictures for proof...

Garden Bee on a chive flower. Gardening is a good thing to do to keep active.

You will never guess where this is...I never leave my camera at home. Photo opps are everywhere!

On a walk recently...

...wild flowers where everywhere!!

On a field trip to Sacramento...I call this Old Town Arches.

 

 

 

 

 

My work is sedentary, so every opportunity I get to be active I should (and need) to jump on. I have reached my weight goal, in fact the scale seems to be going the other way but I know that with the kind of change I need to make it will not happen over night. Lifestyle changes take a long time. Eating right is half the battle. Exercising is the other half, the hardest half if you ask me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." ~ Confucius

 

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." ~Aldous Huxley

 

 

  

Let's try this again...

Well, I found that last time I documented my daily walks it kept me accountable for my health. A million excuses later I have decided to do it again because the feedback I got from people was extremely positive (I actually motivated some) and I need to get back to taking care of myself.

I do not promise to walk daily but I do promise to do it more often...let's start there.

Today's walk reminded me of how badly out of shape Poppy and I am. For those of you who do not know, Poppy is my dog.

Saying that you are too busy to get healthy is like saying you are too busy to care about yourself, what kind of a world to we live in where this is okay? I see this now. Making the time for yourself to be healthy is the single most important thing you can do for yourself and the people you love. After all, you cannot take care of your family if you are not well yourself.

I rarely ever manipulate my photography but I did with this one. This oak tree is captivating, it really caught my attention for some reason.

Proof that I walked, LOL!

Sunny Hope

Cancer. Awful, horrible cancer. Lately, the word has come up all to often.

A good friend, hysterectomy in her 30's. Another good friend, breast cancer in her 30's. A new friend tells me of her battle with cancer at an age all to young. Kids with cancer, dogs with cancer and cancer, cancer, cancer. Damn it cancer!

A Facebook video makes it way into my news feed about girls in their 20's with breast cancer. The culprit? Possibly from keeping their cell phones in the bra. No, really! Check out the video here.


All this got me thinking. Numbness, paranoid-ness, fear...BUT then I had an epiphany. WHAT IF CANCER DID NOT HAVE TO LEAVE US FEELING THIS WAY. What if we made the conscious decision to feel alive, feel pronoia and faith? I know, easier said than done. And who am I to have the thought as I have never been through this before. So if I ever do, please remind me that I wrote this.

I am smart enough to know that after a diagnosis of such you go through shock. Shock that leaves you feeling nothing but numb and dumb. Suddenly everything you knew was turned upside down. The questions. How? What now? ? ? ? ?

I have also been so stupid to have learned the lesson that positive thoughts in the present moment will resolve all mentioned above. Hence, getting to a place where you can replace the nubmness, paranoid-ness and fear with life, pronoia and faith. Nothing can be more important, not the treatment not anything!

Again, remind me of this if I should ever find myself in a place where I cannot see past an illness.

Just some thoughts about an illness that I so not know much about but a concept I know all too well.
Love and light!

Back at it Day 5-21 - Reassessment

Why is the goal of walking daily so hard to obtain? I have only walked a few days out of the past 16, ARG!

I did have a stomach bug which laid me flat on my back for 2 days and stuck at home for several after that BUT I will admit that there are some days in there that I could have and did not because I was lazy or told myself I did not have the time. Other days I was busy working in the yard, getting the summer garden going and picking up after Winter.

Perhaps it is time to reassess the goal of walking daily. Some days my work load is massive and I truly do not have the time. Other days, like today, I can work it in. Let's say that I will walk 5 out of the seven days of the week. My new goal is set, walking five out of the seven days the week allows.

What do you think? Do you find it that sometimes you have to reassess your goals or do you not let anything in between you and what you want?

Here are some pictures of the days Pup and I did get out...

Still seeing those hearts around!

Can you see the heart here? You have to look really hard to see it!

Do you know what this is?

I love where I live, so beautiful!

 Here are a few pics from our yard...

Center of an Iris

More Irises

Lilac

Relaxing when the job is done!

Thanks for reading my friends!

Back at it - Day 1 with some action

I suppose I should start this blog up again. It kept me accountable for doing my daily walk.

I almost did not go today, again. Though this time it was not for the usual excuses I tell myself but because I did not have a good feeling about it.

Pup and I were off, I noticed a car with no body in it so I knew that someone was out and about the many trails by my house.

Nice day to take a walk in the woods...and get into a dog fight ;)

I decided to follow pups lead today. We went to the usual spot, the place where she knows I will take her off the leash if I feel all is well. But I decided to not take her off the leash this time and I am glad I followed my instincts.

We got to the point where we usually turn around and out of nowhere two dogs ran full speed up to us. One was friendly and just wanted to say hello, the other immediately jumped on Pup. My dog being the protective being that she is, started to fight based upon the mixed signals the second dog was projecting. That is how it began; a two on one full blown dog fight. The owner was not in sight. I screamed for them to get their dogs. Finally, a woman came running and called to them. Never did she come up to where the fight was. I however was standing in the middle of it. The friendly dog listened immediately but the other dog did not. Still she just stood 20 feet away and called to her dog. Finally it all stopped and the stupid woman put her dogs on a leash. I thanked her (because I was taught to be polite) and turned around to walk the way we were coming. The woman started to follow us. Of course my dog was distracted with this and it made it hard for us to leave.

The only one who got hurt was me, by the leash that my dog was on. I understand, she was taking them to a secluded area to unleash them, I do that with Pup. But geeezzz, it still pissed me off!

Love and light, my friends!

A converstaion with self...in all honesty.

Higher Self: Where have you been?
Ego: Here, there and everywhere is the most honest answer.
Higher Self: Have you been walking?
Ego: No. Well, here and there but not anything consistent.
Higher Self: Why?
Ego: Good question, which I cannot answer without spewing off a hundred different excuses. Bottom line is that something "more important" came up each day and I could not do it.
Higher Self: What is more important than oneself?
Ego: Family and work obligations...doooe, what am I saying?

This is a conversation that I have with myself almost daily AND I know that some of you do to. I am not the only one who struggles with motivation in the area of health and exercise. Truth is, the very things that motivate me (family and work) are the very things that stand in the way of my own motivation. Yeah, it is nuts BUT again I know that some of you understand this concept. It is not until I started to listen to myself that I began realizing just how ridiculous this cycle is.

The top three lessons that I have learned in the past few years is...

1. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
2. It is important to take care of your self on all levels; mentally, physically and spiritually. You cannot care for anyone else unless you are up to par. Especially true for us mothers.
3. The first two are very much easier said than done.

Acknowledging the cycle is the first step to breaking it. Realizing how ridiculous the cycle is and the outcome it has on yourself and your family is the next step. What comes next is the decision to change and to act on that change. Finally, the change sets in and it becomes your new life.

With my weight struggle I am somewhere between realizing the cycle and deciding to change. Again. I will start over as many times as needed, because that is how important it is to me. For me, and for my family. What is that proverb?

"'Tis a lesson you should heed:

Try, try, try again.

If at first you don't succeed,

Try, try, try again."

~William Edward Hickson

Another good reason to walk, my pup!

Nice trail.

Yep, still seeing hearts. Not nearly as much as I once was but they are still there.

And at the end of the day, the Universe always delivers!

 Love and light my friends! Thank you for reading :)

Back at it...and it feels good!

Hello friends! Pup and I took a quick walk today and it was so good to be back at it.

I think Pup was happy to be walking again too!

 I really did not hold back with the eating this holiday and based upon my check up at the doctor it shows. I will not tell you what # I am at but I will tell you that since late September I gained 9 pounds!! Eek!

Been wondering how many "start overs" I will be doing when it comes to loosing weight. I guess as many as it takes, eh? I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. It is so easy to spout out and believe the excuses you put out for yourself.

Pretty Winter day here in Northern California

So consider this start over, reset, moving on #3. Three is a number that has popped up many times in my life, may this be the bout that keeps me focused and accountable. While many are struggling to start their New Year resolution, I have not made this one of mine. New Years resolutions are too easy to let go of and feel alright about it. This is my new life resolution (number 3, lol).

Here is to 2014, may it be a year of implementing changes, staying focused,  being accountable and acknowledging excuse from reality.

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 *·~-.¸-(★ ♥ Love and Light ♥ ★)-,.-~*

Good bye 2013...Hello 2014! Happy New Year!

2013 has been a roller coaster of a ride! Many ups in our business/creative lives, many downs in the health category and lessons all in between!

Overall I would say that 2013 was informative and by no means a wash. Looking forward to moving on ward and up ward in 2014, implementing the lessons of the past year.

I am grateful for every twist and turn but mostly for the family and friends that were with me the entire way! I am also thankful for the faith in which I have found and hung on to which made even the darkest moments bright.

Love and light my friends, more progress is to be made in 2014 ♥

Happy New Year!

First walk in months, eeek!

Pup and I have not been walking on a regular basis in weeks! Since school has started, now is a great time to get back on track with my health. I allowed myself to get lazy and eat during the past few months. I do not feel bad about it, I just know I have to turn it around.

The big realization today was that it is a lot easier to get out of shape then it is to get in shape.

Angel Clouds...love where I live!!

10 things I would like to remember about my first 35 years of life on Earth

So this is my 100th post! To celebrate I have put together 10 lessons that I would like to remember moving forward in this life.

1. Change is inevitable. It is natural and we all need it, whether or not we want it.

2. Sometimes life is disappointing. That is alright, it just means that there is something better out there for you; you just do not know it yet. I believe it was the Dalai Lama who said,"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke luck".

3. This kind of goes along with the idea above; if you really need something, the Universe will send it your way. Whether it is positive or negative, there is joy to be had or a lesson to be learned.

4. Life can be tough. But if you keep smiling and laughing then it does not seem so harsh. Always try to see the positive in the negative. Always!

5. God's ultimate gift comes in the form of a child.

6. Family is where it is at; bio and friend-family. Kinship is not just defined by science; it is a state of mind and can be defined by action.

7.  Let it go. Breathe. Meditate. Everything is going to be alright. If you do not let go of negative things it will effect your physical health.

8. We are all here for a reason. We each have our own gift to share with the world. 

9.  There is something much bigger than us, bigger than the Earth, bigger than the solar system and that is spirituality. We are not just a body with a mind, we are spirit too. Christian, Catholic, Buddhism, Muslim...whatever that looks like for you. "The whole is more than the sum of its parts". ~Aristotle

10. Lat, but probably the most important...You are the only one who can create your happiness, prosperity and success. It is all about perception. Change the way you look at something and that thing will change. Find the lesson in the negative things and find joy in the positive things and all will be well.

 

Love and light my friends! Thanks for reading :)