So the past several weeks have been a test sent from the Universe. I was tested in strength, both mentally and physically. I was tested in will and most importantly I was tested in self love. Being diagnosed with anxiety, depression (based upon a silly test on a silly piece of paper) and tension head aches was a huge eye opener for me and made me see that I fell into a place that I had worked so hard to stay away from. Back to square one you could say, but this time I had the knowledge and experience to pull myself out of it.
While I do feel that people do live with depression daily, I do not buy into the concept that everyone needs to take medications for it. I am not a depressed person. I am a female, need I say more?! As
John Trudell says,
"I'm just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly losing its understanding of being human." While the feelings of depression do come in and out of my life, it is not me. Period.
I did not truly believe in anxiety, of course, until it became part
of my reality and effected me physically. There are people in my life that suffer from it and while most of them truly suffer for no reason known to them, I did feel that some peoples experiences with it (if not all of it) was brought on by themselves, their lifestyles and their decisions (past and present). Lesson learned. Like a friend once said, "God will always give you what you do not understand". Thank you Universe for setting me straight! I have always been anxious, but was able to talk myself out of it. This time I was unable to do so and the anxiety became physical, not just mental/emotional. Each day gets better and I know I will get past this.
Tension headaches, well, they
suck and there is really no fix for them other then relaxing and
de-stressing yourself. Right? Still working on this but ya know, life could be worse. I am not going to die, all the tests I have had look great. Still waiting on the appointment for the MRI but doc said not to worry about this as they are just following up on a brain scan that came up with some inconclusive results. He said this happens all the time and that they have to follow up on it (for liability reasons) and it usually results in nothing.
So what am I doing to fix myself? I tried Sertraline (generic Zoloft)...had a reaction and will never take any psycho drugs again. Just another experience to remind myself that the pharmaceutical companies are not there to help us. Sure, I get that idea of taking a drug to keep your heart, kidneys, liver or other essential organs working, but let's not mess with the brain! It does not seem logical to take a drug that has the same exact side effects as what you are experiencing and that makes you sick for weeks before it "might" work. Only to find out that it does not and that you have to go through the whole process until you find a drug that "might" work. What a racket!
Mediation, positive thoughts, walking, nature, photography, loving my peeps and loving myself enouph to know that I am strong and worth it is what is working. Mind over matter, it has always worked for me!
You could be saying to yourself, "Wow, this chick in nuts" or "Hey, she has a point", either way...thanks for reading :)
Love and light my friends! Happy Summer Solstice! ☼
