You just have to really want it...

18 months. A lot can happen in 18 months. Kids grow. Businesses flourish. New jobs come into play. People get fatter. People realize how they effect other people with their fatness.

This road to fitness has been a very long one. I see now that I have been the only thing standing in my way. The emotional eating, negative self talk, excuses...it has all been me. The hardest part to swallow is that my daughter has been watching this and feeding off of it.

This past week my eyes have been opened by a loved one who told me that it makes them feel "sad and mad" that I am overweight. I am unable to walk as fast as the rest of my family, not able to fit easily in rides or do some of the things my family is doing during "family time".

I then realized that this journey needs not to be just for myself but for the people who love me. And the people that I love. The signs have been there, I just needed one to hit me with a two by four in the face before I gave them any attention.

With that said, I have no idea when I will actually get serious about loosing weight. I have been in and out of this journey for some time now and nothing has changed. I do not know that goals will help me, I don't respect them. I do not know that the doctor, a nutritionist or support groups will help me, I am too stubborn. I just have to help myself. I am not going to make any promises or deadlines. Bottom line is that I just have to change. I have started it before, I can do it again but this time I have to follow through.

Mind you, I have not been lazy, just hungry; mostly hungry for chocolate and carbs. I have been walking and doing what I can to keep my legs moving. Here are pictures for proof...

Lucky to have a trail head across the street from my house

Still seeing hearts, I guess that is one thing that has not changed in 18 months. I am blessed!

Last Spring I found a trail to walk where there are many, many wildflowers. So beautiful!

Signing off with a post I saw on Instagram (sorry cannot remember who posted it but I copied it, this is not my original work). This is where I am right now. Assessing the daily routine, seeing where I can get fitness in. I know this and my story could help someone out there. That is why I share.